The Secret Love of a Broken Heart
by Kazemi Reikaze
Summary: AU,MxK. Miyu and the gang are all in their 4th year high school. Miyu has fallen for Kanata but is confused with what her heart feels. Will she realize to use her heart not her head! no flames please!ON HIATUS! UP FOR ADOPTION IMPORTANT A/N ON CHAP 4!
1. Chapter 1

**The Secret Love of a Broken Heart**

Hi there guys! Another fanfic in behalf of my friend Summ3rHop3!

The story's AU and some of the characters may be OOC, sorry about that. No flames please! Arigatou-gozaimasu! Hope you enjoy it!

Miyu and the gang are in first year high school and they study in different schools. Ruu's not here but I'll see if I can squeeze him in, sorry if I won't be able to though. Miyu and Kanata don't live in the same house here, but Miyu and Kanata's parents aren't here either, Kanata's dad is in India and everyone knows what happened to his mom, and Miyu's parents work at NASA and they entrusted the house to her and they call or visit in once in a while. They are all 16-17 years old.

"Talking"; 'Thinking or thoughts'; **(Me Talking)**; **"Shouting"**; "P.A. System"; -actions-

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Miyu was lying down on her bed thinking about a certain auburn haired boy** (with a blue pastel color at the background)**. 

'-sigh- It has been almost four years, and to think that I still even love him, heh, I never thought that I'd still be this attracted to him after so long. I've never even seen him properly or even talked to him. But it's okay… I can wait for the right time…'

"-gets up and changes- I wonder what I'll wear, uhm… -rubs chin with thumb- **(you know the thing that people do when they think)** oh! I know!"

She changed into her green camouflage top and wore a black pleated skirt, with knee high socks and black rubber shoes and looked at herself in the mirror** (with a light green background with shades of black at the sides)**.

"Okay! Time to meet up with Keiko-chan and the others" Miyu said tying her hair in a ponytail.

Miyu walked out the door and locked the door then the gate saying good bye to her every so loyal pets.

Miyu took a taxi and went to the mall to meet up with Keiko, Aya, Nanami and Christine. **(By the way, Christine doesn't like Kanata this is MY story after all)**

"Sorry I'm late! So where do we go?" said Miyu giving her friends a warm smile

"We go where our feet take us!" shouted the ever so hyper Keiko

"Uhm… But, how do we eat lunch Keiko-chan?" Miyu said to her haywire-gone friend

"Oh… hehehe… I forgot about that… Gomen-nasai…heehee" Keiko said rubbing the back of her head

"Hahaha, its okay Keiko, okay! Come on guys! Where do you want to eat?" Miyu said starting to act hyper

"Hmm… What about Yellow Cab! Their pizza there is great! And, we might even see some cute guys their…evil grin" said Aya

"Okay then! After we eat our lunch lets go shopping! My treat girls, you can buy anything you want!" Christine said kindly and gave them a warm smile

"You really mean it Christine? Thanks very much! We love you!!!!!" They said in chorus

They went to eat and rested a little then, right after they ate they went shopping! They bought one thing in every shop of the mall! And at the end of the day they were carrying lots of paper bags.

"-shouts in happiness- We love you Christine! Thank you very much for the treat! We really appreciate it!" They said in chorus

"It's nothing really, -smiles- I just really like it when my friends are happy" she said giving them a smile **(with pink and yellow bubble background)**

"Haaa….I'm beat…" Miyu said bending down her knees

Then suddenly when she looked up front she saw an auburn haired boy with some of his new friends. Miyu was in total shock, she didn't know what to do…

"Miyu, Oi Miyu-chan! Daijobu Miyu-chan?" Keiko said waving her hand in front of her face **(the thing that people do so that a person snaps out of their daze)**

'He's there, right in front of me! What should I do what should I do???' Miyu thought to herself

"Oi Miyu-chan!" said Aya and Keiko

"Huh? What is it guys?" said Miyu finally snapping out of her thoughts

"Hey guys! Come on lets go here!" Christine said pointing at a stuffed toy shop "Blue Magic"

-screams- "Come on! I want a white kawaii teddy bear!!!" Miyu said trying not to look back where the auburn haired boy.

They went inside the shop and looked around giving out "oohs" and "aaahs" and some "Kawaii!" , they bought one stuffed toy each then went out the shop with big smiles on their faces.

"Miyu-chan, you know while we were inside the shop one guy with auburn hair kept looking at you…" Aya said mischievously with a grin up on her face

"Huh? Don't joke Aya-chan…" Miyu said with a small blush on her face

"But its true isn't it guys? We all saw it except for you…" said Aya

"Fine I give up… Oooh! Let's look for some sounds!" Miyu said instantly changing the subject and pulling them towards the escalator. They went inside and they three girls constantly listened to the new releases. Miyu bought a video CD and went outside to wait for the girls. She looked down to the floor below them and she saw the auburn haired boy with a girl clinging on his arm. Miyu felt numb and her eyes started to get watery. The other girls came out of the shop and saw Miyu on the hand rail.

"Hey Miyu-chan, were done…"

No answer

"Daijobu Miyu-chan?" said Nanami with a concerned look on her face and walked up closer to her.

Miyu was so depressed that she couldn't stop crying. She ran down the escalator not caring about what the other people thought. She just kept on running past the people. Then she passed right in front of the boy with auburn hair, making her long hair and tears fly with the wind, across the face of the boy. He got a slight glimpse of her.

'Miyu?! Was… was that girl who passed by Miyu???' Kanata thought to himself.

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**(A/N: Hey there guys! This is the end of the first chappie! Please be kind enough to press that go button on the lower left hand corner of you computer…Arigatou-gozaimasu!!! See you in the next chappie!)**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Miyu and the gang are in first year high school and they study in different schools. Ruu's not here but I will see if I can squeeze him in, sorry if I will not be able to though. Miyu and Kanata don't live in the same house here, but Miyu and Kanata's parents aren't here either. They are all 16-17 years old.

"Talking"; 'Thinking or thoughts'; **(Me Talking)**; **"Shouting"**; "P.A. System or other side of the phone"; -actions-; _other self of character or Flashback

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_

Hi guys! Chapter 2 is up! Sorry if you think the characters are too OOC…

I do not own Daa! Daa! Daa! However, I own Keiko an original character made especially by my friend! Well on with the story!

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_Flashback:_

"_Daijobu Miyu-chan?" said Nanami with a concerned look on her face and walked up closer to her._

_Miyu was so depressed that she couldn't stop crying. She ran down the escalator not caring about what the other people thought. She just kept on running past the people. Then she passed right in front of the boy with auburn hair, making her long hair and tears fly with the wind across the face of the boy. He got a slight glimpse of her._

'_Miyu?!Was… was that girl who passed by Miyu???' Kanata thought to himself_

_End of Flashback_

Miyu kept on running… following where her feet would take her…

**To where Kanata is...**

He pulls his arm out of the girls arm and runs to where she went there was a faint sound he heard from his group of friends…

"**Kanata!!! Where are you going??? Come back here!!!!"** the girl shouted not minding the other people at the mall who was now giving her glares

Kanata on the other hand, was thinking too much to hear the girl kept running to where Miyu went. He did not mind the people other people.

'Was that girl really Miyu? Miyu….'

He ran through the crowd, trying to catch his breath. Then he saw a blonde haired girl who was sitting in the middle of the grass of the park.

'Miyu!' Kanata's eyes widened, he heard faint sobs coming from the girl. He went closer to the girl.

Miyu heard footstep coming near her. She wiped her tears and tried to stop crying, but the more she tried to stop it the more tears came.

"Hey… Daijobu?" Kanata asked reaching out to the girl

"**Go away!"** Miyu said slapping Kanata's hand and looked down at the ground.

"Miyu I…"

"**You what??? Feel sorry for me? I don't need your pity!"** Miyu snapped as she stared at Kanata with her eyes red and a frown on her face.

'I've never seen her like this before… sure I've seen her cry but never like this…' Kanata thought to himself.

They were staring at each other for a while and there was a tense silence between them.

"What now? The great Kanata Saionji…" She was cut off by Kanata who was now hugging her…

"**Let go of me!! Let go of me!!!" **screamed Miyu as she punched his chest sobbing.

"**Please!...** Please… Let me go…sobs" Miyu said as her punches started to lessen little by little. Tears started to stream down her face. She couldn't help but cry on his chest.

"Ssssh…. Please stop crying… I don't like it when you cry, please Miyu stop crying… I'm sorry if I hurt you."

"What I saw hurts more than you think… Kanata, **DON'T YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU?!**" said Miyu as she looked intently into his eyes, at that moment, Emerald and Amber met. Tears kept on streaming down her face as she stared into his amber eyes.

Kanata raised his hands to her face and wiped her tears away. He didn't talk he didn't give and reply. He just wiped her tears and hugged her as her sobs started to fade as her head lay on to his chest. He looked down at her face and realized that she was asleep. He carried her to his back, and he carried her to his household.

'I should've just told her before we graduated elementary, but every time I saw her there would come interferences.sigh'

_RIIIIIIIIING, RIIIIIIIIING!_

Kanata went to the phone and answered it.

"Konichiwa, Saionji residence…"

"Konichiwa Kanata-kun.. It's me Mai… Where'd you go? You just ran out of us suddenly…" Mai said with a hint of anger in her voice

"Oh… Sorry, I had something important to do. Oh yeah, I won't be studying in SLU anymore… I passed UP Baguio, so I decided I should study there instead. I'm taking up Arts…. Bye Mai, see you at graduation…" Kanata said as he hanged up the phone not hearing what the girl wanted to say.

'So what I felt for her was just a lie, I still loved Miyu all along... Why didn't I listen to Kiyoshi at the first place…'

_Flashback:_

"_Kanata, you better tell Miyu how you feel about her, or you'll end up hurting her and other girls too…"_

"_But Kiyoshi, I..."_

"_You what? Don't you realize that you're one lucky guy to be loved by a girl like her? I know this... because I regret not choosing her.. Instead, I chose another girl… but I was never happy with her as I was with Miyu… You've got to tell her… before it's too late…" Kiyoshi said as he left Kanata in the middle of the classroom_

_End of Flashback_

"-sigh- Kiyoshi warned me this would happen but I didn't listen… -sigh- I can't even remember how many hearts of girls I've broken… I even broke her heart too… I wish she just could've read that message…"

In of the rooms in the household, a certain girl has awoken. She knew she wasn't in her house, so she stood up and fixed herself up. She didn't want whoever brought her there to know that she was leaving.

Miyu silently went over the window, thanks to her various summer sports; she didn't fall off and easily jumped of the windowsill.

Kanata went inside the room.

'Where's is she?! She probably left… -sigh- but I wanted to talk to her so much… I guess now is not the time… _what are you talking about?! It's already too late! _But; _NO BUTS BOY! LOOK FOR HER! YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE THE CHANCE ANYMORE! _No! I'll do it the next time I see her…_aho baka..._'

Finally, Kanata finally snapped out of his thoughts and decided to take a bath.

Miyu was running towards her house witch wasn't too far from the house she's been in. Her cell phone started to ring and her running eased down to a walk as she took out her cell and answered her it.

"Konichiwa, Miyu-chan here."

"Miyu! What happened?! Are you okay?! Do you want us to come over?!"

"Oh… Nanami-chan… I'm okay… don't worry about it…"

"You saw him didn't you?"

Miyu was shocked with her best friend's question she wanted to answer but no words came out. She tried harder and some faint small words came out.

"Yah… I'll talk to you later… Ja ne…"

"Miyu-chan! I..."

Miyu cut her off by ending the call.

'Miyu… you still love him don't you?sigh I'm worrying now what more if Keiko finds out? Heheh… -sigh-' **(its Nanami people!)**

Miyu reached her house and opened the gate. Her pets seemed to sense that she was sad, and they all went to her as if they were trying to comfort her.

"Awww… Arigatou… Nevertheless, I feel better now that I'm home…smiles widely"

"You guys must be hungry! I'll get you guys some food, wait here okay?" Miyu said as she pat the head of her dog Yumi.

She went inside her house and changed into her house clothes. She wore blue shorts and a baby blue top with dogs printed on it with white Islander slippers. She took some food into their bowls and brought it outside, they were so obedient that they even waited for her to put it down on the floor and her signal that they can eat. She put the food down and signaled them to start eating and they started to gobble down the food. This sight put a smile on her face.

"Well, I better start eating myself too. I trust you guys to guard the house -smiles and giggles-" She said and pat her dog and went inside the house.

Miyu locked the door behind her as she started to think about "him" again and sighed.

"Well I better start cooking my food, and after I eat I'll have to sleep already, today's been a long day…"

Miyu cooked her food, ate and washed the plates. She washed up and changed into her green, dog-cat printed pajamas; and climbed up to her bed and silently dozed off to sleep.

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**(A/N: Konichiwa minna-san! I hope you liked this story! Sorry if the characters are OOC… Gomen… I'd appreciate it if you gave me a review please! I wanna have at least five reviews per chapter! Please!!!! Onegai! Thanks for reading this chapter! I'll try to update as soon as I can! See you soon, Ja ne!)**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Hi there guys!! I'm truly, very sorry for not updating sooner… I was busy with school exams and other stuff too!! Gomen-nasai!! Here's your new chapter and I'm sorry if it's too short…

Disclaimer: I don't own Daa! Daa! Daa! And the other stuff that may come up here… Please don't sue me!

Note: A new (original) character's coming up in this chapter

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Legends:

"**Shouting"**:"Talking": _**Characters other self:**_'Thoughts': **(Me)**: "P.A. System": _Sounds_: -actions-

* * *

_FLASHBACK:_

_Miyu cooked, ate and washed the plates. She washed up and changed into her green, dog-cat printer pajamas; and climbed up to her bed and silently dozed off to sleep._

* * *

Miyu woke up feeling the sun shining brightly on her face. She changed into jogging pants and a blue sleeveless shirt and tied her hair into a half bun. She went down to her kitchen and cooked her breakfast. Right after she finished her food, the doorbell rang…

'Who could that be? It's only 6'o clock in the morning… well… I'm awake already so anyway… Might as well then open the gate…' Miyu thought to herself and took the keys to the gate.

Miyu went out of the door only to see…

* * *

Someone's POV

"Good Morning Miyu… Uhm… Did I wake you up? I'm sorry if I did..." I said pleadingly to my old friend…

She has changed so much… I may not be close enough to see her face… but I could tell something is wrong with her… Well what would you expect? We haven't seen each other for 3 years… She's gotten a lot taller… she isn't the small girl I used to tease.

"**Hi… Hiro!! Hiroyoshi Shoutsu?? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! Hiro!! It's you!! Oh my gosh!! I can't believe it!! I missed you so much! Come in!!"** Miyu shouted loudly at me as she hastened to open the gate that were preventing me to hug her and tell her so tight and ask her what's wrong… but then again… I could always ask that later.

* * *

"OMG!!! Hiro!! How are you? I missed you sooooooooo much!!" Miyu practically screamed onto Hiro's ears as she hugged her best friend that she hasn't seen in such a long time with tears forming in her eyes.

"Mi… Miyu –attempts to catch his breath- I can't breathe!!" Hiro choked

"-releases Hiro from death hug- I'm sooooooooo sorry!! How are you??" Miyu asks energetically

"I'm fine... –smiles- wow, you've grown taller… the last time I saw you, you were practically as tall as me…" Miyu said teasingly

"Hey!! I was still taller than you back then!! And I still am. –tongue out face-." Hiro retorted

"Gosh... It's been a long time... oh... why don't you come in? Do you want some tea or anything?"

"Oh... I'd gladly come in... Tea will be fine thank you..."

They went inside together as Miyu's pets followed them inside…

"You've got a load of company here Miyu... well, at least you're not lonely… so... What's wrong?" Hiro asked immediately to the point

"Nothing's wrong… I promise… So where are you going to study for college and what course are you taking?" Miyu stated changing the topic and not answering the question

"Come on Miyu… I know that something is wrong with you; you can't hide things from me… I know you too well…" Hiro retorted with a serious face

"–sigh- fine... I saw HIM yesterday… with another girl… I think she was his girlfriend... and what's worse is that he saw me crying then I passed out… the next thing I knew I was in his house…"

"So you still love him huh? Well I guess the saying's true... the first will always be the last… well actually the second… -tongue out face-."

"Humph... Kiyoshi's no longer your "dad" and will never be your dad ever again… HE is your dad"

Pause…

"**hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!"** They both laugh together loudly

"Awww… I miss that... Oh... What about my allowance? –laughs loudly again-" Hiro said reminiscently

"Hahahaha… Don't worry… When I get a job, I'll buy you a new phone… and Rei too... I haven't seen him for a long time… I feel bad for him… He lives alone with out any support and his parents don't have enough money for him to go to college… Well at least he got the scholarship in the University of Hokkaida **(Made that up)** and I'm glad that my parents agreed on paying his tuition fee for high school… Well at least everything's okay now…" Miyu said with a sad face

"Yeah… Okay back to the subject… You're not even sure if that was really his girlfriend... that girl could be his cousin or something… and besides... you know he loves you…" Hiro stated

"Yeah… but still… I mean, what girl in the world would be dumb enough not to fall in love with a person like him? Besides, he doesn't love me... that's just a stupid thing I concluded before... I don't even have enough proof… humph... well what's done is done… I need a new guy… Kanata's just another stupid dream of mine that'll never come true…" Miyu debated and won

"Well Miyu... If you still love him, you should never let go of that... because there's a chance that he really does love you and you'll end up regretting what you did…" Hiro retorted but was once again rebutted by Miyu

"No… a wise person I met before said that: "You'll never regret the things that you've done… but you'll regret the things that you didn't do." Miyu said with a sad smile that had graced her lips as she said those words

"Yes... true, but then again... when you regret and do the thing that you will be doing and are doing... then it's just the same…"

"-sighs in defeat- This is just one of your RARE moments Hiro… very rare indeed..." Miyu surrendered

Miyu started to look up in the ceiling, that was painted be she and her friends, it was the sky and on each of the clouds were their names with Miyu's name in the sun. She stared at one of the names 'Fuyuki Yamato' her memories of him flooded her mind as tears started to form on her eyes.

"Hey Miyu? Are you okay?" Hiro asked with a concerned look in his eyes

"Yes... I'm okay, -pauses- I'm truly okay…" Miyu said as she thought to herself or rather, spoke to her other self 'We, no... I have to be strong… for the sake of Keiko, but what if I won't be able to take it anymore… Natsuki-chan?'

_**You'll be able to find your confidant… and it's not me, I already know what you have deep inside of you… but I am not enough to enlighten the pain and weight you have in your shoulders… it will happen in due time Sakura.. Just be patient…**_

'I miss him calling me that Natsuki-chan… I wonder when the next time I'll be able to talk to him… It's been years since the last time he sent me an IM… him doing that just makes me want to live in the past even more…'

_**Nevertheless, you have moved on am, I correct, Sakura? And you have accepted the fact that be is not in this world anymore… we are special Sakura, the circle will be filled, but even so, the ones that have a place in your heart will never be replaced, it is just the way or life**_

'Yes, the way of life… I have to move on for good... It is for the best… Thank you Natsuki-chan'

And with Miyu's little talk with 'her self' she relaxed herself and decided to invite her best friend to go out and have a good time and catch up with each other…

"Hiro do wanna go out? I mean, it's the weekend and we have nothing to do…"

"I thought you'll never ask…"

"-smiles- Give me about 15 minutes and we'll be going? Okay, make yourself at home... there's some chocolate in the fridge get some if you want, but leave some okay?" stated Miyu with a grin on her face

"Are you mocking me? –laughs- okay... I'll be waiting…" Hiro said eyeing the refrigerator

Miyu went up to her room, washed up and changed into dark blue faded jeans that had a bell-bottom, her shirt was blue and on the sides were black. She tied her hair into a high ponytail and put on some lip-balm. She grabbed her sling bag that had her wallet, phone, iPod and some other necessary things for her to bring.

When she went down, she saw Hiro devouring a milk chocolate Hershey's chocolate bar. He was wearing a white shirt that was a bit loose and was wearing black cargo pants.

"Let's go then." Miyu stated smiling at the sight of her friend eating the chocolate and went out of the door.

"Hey don't give me that look!! You're so mean Miyu!!" screamed Hiro chasing after Miyu out the door.

Miyu was already out the door and was giving her pets food to eat while she was gone and told them to look after the house.

"Come on Miyu, we better hurry so that we'd be there earlier, it takes 15 minutes to go to Enchanted Kingdom and 5 minutes to go to the terminal going there. Come on!" said Hiro excitedly

Miyu locked the door and gate and went out with Hiro waiting for her. They were walking down the street when they heard a beep of a car that was approaching them from the back; they stepped to the side and continued to walk.

* * *

Inside the car

'Wait… isn't that Miyu and Hiro?' Kanata thought to himself as he said quietly in his car. He stepped on the breaks and waited for Miyu and Hiro to catch up. When he say in the mirror that they were near, he opened the window.

"Hey, Hiro, Miyu! Where are you guys going?" Kanata asked sticking his head our a little so that they would be able to see him.

"Hey! Kanata! How are you? We're going to EK [Enchanted Kingdom. Where are you going?" Hiro asked Kanata

"No where in particular, hop in, I'll bring you guys there, and it's a long walk from here to the terminal, so might as well take the offer?" Kanata said as he pressed to open button so that the door near to them opens up.

Hiro went in and Miyu followed, hesitantly. The rest of the ride was quiet except for the music from the radio. When they arrived, Miyu and Hiro went out of the car.

* * *

'Maybe I should invite him… After all, he came all this way. Okay, it's final I'm inviting him…' Miyu thought to her self

"Kanata-kun… a… ano… do you want to come with us? I mean you've come all this way… and…" Miyu paused because she didn't know what to say anymore as her blood rushed to her cheeks **(Oooh! She's blushing!! Okay, I'll stop...)**

"Sure, why not? –steps out of the car- let's go then…" Kanata said with a small blush on his face. He was wearing a red jacket with a black plain shirt inside and black cargo pants w/ a chain on the side and white and red Nike shoes.

Hiro looked back and forth to his two friends, stopped, and then grinned.

"Well, the more the merrier!!" Hiro said with a mischievous smile on his lips

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**And this chapter ends here!! Hope you guys like it!! I'm sorry if you don't think that what they're wearing look good… I'm not good with those things... sorry... Well thank you to those who've read and review my story and those who has read and will be reviewing!! Thanks!! See you all soon!! I'll update as soon as I can!!**

**Ja ne!!**

**-Sakura-chan0610**


	4. IMPORTANT!

Okay… I know I'm not really supposed to do something like this but… it can't be helped…I just want to inform you guys about some **important stuff** **you have** **to know**:

1st: I haven't been exactly inspired lately… as it is seen that I haven't updated for a while even if it was summer already… so I might be **discontinuing** "My Cherry Blossom". Another reason for this is the **lack of reviews** which haven't been enough to motivate me to work on my stories and has led me to **doubt my skills as a writer** as of late. So if you **want me to continue please review.**

2nd: I have decided to put "The Secret Love of a Broken Heart" up for adoption, any one who'd want to please PM me or I'll be deleting the story as well.

3rd: I have deleted "Behind the Light" because I have lost my notes on the story plot, but I might put it up again in the future.

4th: me and my friend, A Star in the Night, (I have no idea why that is her pen name but she says that she will change it so I shall be calling her Yoshi for now.) are working on a joint fanfic… here are the details:

Category: Anime/Manga, Naruto

Story Type: Crossover (I think... not sure... hahaha cuz we're only borrowing one character Get Backers)

Title: (Still pending)

Summary: "'I'm sure we'll meet again in the future... Ginji... My son....' Minato said as he held the one-year-old blond for the last time." Before the conflict that started the 3rd Great Shinobi War, Minato and Kushina had a small problem. They had no idea that, in the future, that small problem would give rise to a duo who would become highly formidable opponents to their enemies, both together and individually. (Still working on it suggestions for this summary are highly accepted)

Rating: T

Genre: Adventure/Action, General (well... that's what I think... I'm not good with putting things into genre)

Main Character/s: Naruto Uzumaki, Ginji Amano

And if you're wondering how I got the idea for the story when I am not inspired; so far the story has been half heartedly made so it **isn't as well made** as the ones I would make when I **am inspired and motivated**… so please, please, **please review**! I am saying this because we are looking for a **beta reader**, if anyone's interested or would know someone who would be interested please **inform me through PM not through reviews**.

Well that's all... so... see you when I see you...

Ja ne,

Klaze Zenith

**P.S. I'm patient enough to wait for the reviews for one month but if in two weeks I don't recieve any reviews at all; the joint fanfic will be the last fanfic I will be publishing and I would either put my unfinished stories up for adoption or possibly delete all stories I have previously published since my skill as a writer is unsatisfactory. My decision is definite.**


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